Medicating the ADHD child is not the answer. Apart from the proven harmful effects on the child’s health, medicating also gives a false sense of security that the anti-social behaviours have gone.
When the medication has worn off, the extreme behaviours of the ADHD child seem even worse.
There are some very disturbing statistics that couples who have a child or children with ADHD are nearly twice as likely to divorce or separate, in comparison to couples who do not have children with the condition.
Having a child who is consistently inattentive and/or hyperactive is extremely stressful for all members of the family and heightens the effects of conflicts, tensions and arguments between parents and siblings.
This is not to say that the ADHD child is responsible for the breakdown in the parents and/or family relationships, not at all.
However, it is easy to appreciate that, when people experience the added stresses brought about by the unpredictable behaviours that accompany the extremes of ADHD symptoms, it reduces tolerances level due to:
1. Their nerves being more on edge
2. Not having enough quiet time
3. No ‘me’ time
4. No opportunity to have interests or hobbies
5. Constantly feeling guilty at their child’s behaviour in public
6. Having to constantly justify their child’s behaviour
7. Putting up with the scornful looks from others outside the family who don’t understand what’s going on or don’t understand ADHD
Just as parental conflicts affect the family dynamics and, therefore, the harmony or disharmony of the environment a child grows up in, so the behaviours of the children in the family also affect these family dynamics and the atmosphere in the home.
In addition, an ADHD child usually has accompanying neurological disorders which exacerbate any tension, conflict, etc., that would already exist.
For example:
A study, led by psychologists Brian Wymbs and William Pelham, published in 2008 in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, surveyed a large number of families whose children were diagnosed with ADHD, and found that they were often accompanied by conduct problems and oppositional behaviour.
Whether there is ADHD in a family or not, no one lives in a vacuum, everyone influences other persons, and everyone deserves to have a life where there is balance as to how much they give of themselves for others, and how much they receive in return.
We all need to feel loved and appreciated. When there is ADHD in the family, this need takes on greater proportions.
I once had a discussion with friends regarding the factors that contribute to the breakdown of relationships, broadly speaking that is. This encompasses any sort of relationship – romantic, friendship, business, etc. Of course, it was difficult to name a few reasons because these vary from person to person. People look for different things in a relationship. So how could you possibly put the blame on just a handful of factors? This is especially true since human reactions and emotions are dynamic. 